I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
