you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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