i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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