Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
