there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
