My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
