My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
