i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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