my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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