In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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