Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
