I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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