if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
