She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
