so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize