I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
