Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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