If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Be still, my beating vagina.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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