Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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