hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
wrigley field is MILF paradise
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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