so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
