The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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