I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
too bad you live with your parents still
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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