TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
