He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
