it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
