You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
