Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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