It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
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I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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