Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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