he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
