How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
