porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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