Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
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I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
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I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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