i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
