I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize