1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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