your room smells of hookers.
And success
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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