If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
