Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Randomize
