Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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