The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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