i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
