and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
