Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
