ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
