i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
