Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
