i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
