I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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