opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
