you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
