can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
