Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
