I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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