im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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