I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
In America we eat man semen.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
