I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?