You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
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Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid