i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And then he peed in my hair
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