Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
