just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
