he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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