After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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