I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
